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Written by Nick Da Costa | Wednesday, February 27, 2008 |
Any film that brings together the stellar potential of whirly camera gloss merchant Michael Bay, God helmer Steven Spielberg, and an absurdly fond childhood memory, must be an immediate classic right?
Well after the chaos from the metal Titan dust-up has subsided, is the big screen version of Transformers worthy of our nostalgia?
Like an Ed Wood film crossed with the contents of Fort Knox screwed in the ass by umpteen adverts for cars that all look the same. I didn’t think it was possible to be bored during big budget spectacle, but that big chinned Norman Rockwell cineaste Michael Bay has proved me spectacularly wrong.
When someone first suggested a Transformers movie, I bet they didn’t immediately follow it up with, ‘Let’s have irritating, and extended extraneous scenes where we make these ridiculously expensive giant robots look camper than Liberace in a Panto on the deck of a battleship’, but that’s the result, as amidst the admittedly beautiful machine collisions onscreen it’s moment after moment of toe-curlingly bad dialogue, zero character development and filler.
Honestly, with all the talent in Hollywood, and Spielberg on a producer credit, how is it possible to turn a childhood gem into such a turgid blockbuster? And to think, the writers of this are reported to have done a pass on the ‘Watchmen’ script and wrote the new ‘Star Trek’ movie for JJ Abrams. Christ. As Optimus Prime booms, ‘my bad’ indeed.
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